Woman Forbids Husband’s Friend From Entering Their Home After He Bankrupts Them, Husband Calls Her Out for Ending Their Friendship

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Nov 7, 2024 2:00 PM EST

Welcome back ladies and gentlemen of the internet. Having friends is a crucial part of living a happy and healthy life. If you only have your partner and kids, it can feel isolating. We all need a breather from our bubble of family and work, and friends are the perfect escapism to mitigate life's banalities. But what makes someone a good friend? What qualities encompass that person who's always there for you, who has your back, who you can be transparent with, but also have fun with. It takes time to develop rooted friendships, but once they're deep in the ground, it's almost impossible to tear them apart. 

This brings us to the Reddit thread. In this story, the original poster (OP)'s husband has a friend who isn't so nice of a buddy. He's put them through a lot, and OP is sick of it. After some unreputable situations, they decide to semi cut contact. After a few years, the friend shows up again. The husband, assuming he's changed, wants to make it work, but his wife puts her foot down. 

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  • 01
    r/AITAH • 12 hr. ago ElectronicZombie9094 AITAH for telling my husband his friend can't come to our house?
    via u/ElectronicZombie9094
  • 02
    My (38f) husband (45m) has a lifelong "friend" This "friend" royally screwed us over financially. He tricked my husband into quitting his good paying job, packing up our stuff and moving with the promise that he could make money working for
    via u/ElectronicZombie9094
  • 03
    him. My husband did the work over a period of months and never got paid. His "friend" kept ALL of their earnings while my husband quite literally did ALL of the work and even paid for some of the materials, plus used some of his own personal materials.
    via u/ElectronicZombie9094
  • 04
    Meanwhile I had to work a fast food job to keep our bills paid. I'm not "above" that, but I have an extensive administrative background with high paying jobs. But none of these jobs existed in this tiny town so that's what I was stuck with.
    via u/ElectronicZombie9094
  • 05
    We eventually found out that this "friend" owed a lot of people money, employees, friends, family. He basically lives off other people's money and labor. Including his own wife, who's paycheck gets direct deposited into HIS account and she would complain to me that she doesn't even have gas money.
    via u/ElectronicZombie9094
  • 06
    When people started chasing my husband for money (since he was now the face of the business), asking where his "friend" was, including the IRS, it became embarrassing and we finally moved away.
    via u/ElectronicZombie9094
  • 07
    Husband and I reconciled amazingly. It was a tough time for me and I was often blamed for the situation, and even gaslit by his friend who told me I was fat, ugly, greedy, and didn't understand how business worked.
    via u/ElectronicZombie9094
  • 08
    My husband only insisted on staying for so long because he wanted to live closer to his children from a previous marriage, who happened to live there, so I understood his point of view and forgive him for putting us through that.
    via u/ElectronicZombie9094
  • 09
    Anyways, 5 years past after this and we never heard from the "friend". Husband and I rebuilt our life and now run a successful business and also purchased a house. (Guess I do know how business works after all, huh)
    via u/ElectronicZombie9094
  • 10
    I was over it. At least, until this "friend" creeped back into his life recently. He said he was getting kicked out of his living space, made up some elaborate story which I am positive is bulls And I think that really, he was just in search of some place to go and maybe he thought he could get something out of my husband.
    via u/ElectronicZombie9094
  • 11
    My husband thankfully is not helping him there, but he wants to give him another chance to be friends. He wants to invite him to our house. Have our children play together.
    via u/ElectronicZombie9094
  • 12
    And I'm left feeling like I have to relive this nightmare all over again. I want nothing to do with this person and I absolutely cannot allow this person into my home or near my children. I don't even trust him not to physically steal things from our home.
    via u/ElectronicZombie9094
  • 13
    My husband is now blaming me for interfering with his friendship since I won't let him at the house. I said maybe you should blame your friend for his behavior, or get better friends. I didn't pick him and he makes me uncomfortable. It's just too bad IMO.
    via u/ElectronicZombie9094
  • 14
    But here I am being accused of being the bad guy, deja vu of what that a h le put us through all those years ago. AITAH for wanting nothing to do with this person and making my husbands friendship difficult by not allowing him to come over?
    via u/ElectronicZombie9094
  • 15
    TL;DR husbands friend screwed us financially, disrespected me and now my husband wants to invite him over after several years, AITAH for not wanting the friend in our home.
    via u/ElectronicZombie9094
  • 16
    EDIT: Just wanted to add since a lot of people had concerns -- my husband is in no way allowing this person to go into business with us, or make any kind of business dealings. Weve already discussed and both agreed on this. As for our finances, I have full access to ALL of it. My name is on everything and my husband isn't
    via u/ElectronicZombie9094
  • 17
    savvy enough to siphon money in the way some of you are thinking, not to mention he simply wouldn't do that. He has a friend and made a dumb decision, he's not some monster who's going to steal money out of our bank account.
    via u/ElectronicZombie9094
  • 18
    EDIT #2: Please stop telling me I need to blame my husband for what happened. I ALREADY DO.
    via u/ElectronicZombie9094
  • 19
    EDIT #3: Just wanted to mention, the "friend" has NOT at this point stepped foot on our property. Some of you seem to think he comes over or is staying here? He messaged my husband almost a year ago when he was getting kicked out of his place. He's living somewhere else now, and messages my husband just every
    via u/ElectronicZombie9094
  • 20
    few months or so. He messaged him the other day again and that's why I decided to bring it up.
    via u/ElectronicZombie9094
  • 21
    Mother_Search... • 12h ago • Call the IRS agent that came after you and your husband and tell them where to find that criminal.
    via u/Mother_Search
  • 22
    Call the people who hounded you out of town that he owes money and give them his contact details..
    via u/Mother_Search
  • 23
    If your husband is willing to take you back to the shitshow life his friend put you in, light some fireworks and make a bonfire
    via u/Mother_Search
  • 24
    Lucky-Effective... • 12h ago ⚫ "I will only accept him in our house when he pays us $xxxxx to recompense us from what we lost."
    via u/Lucky-Effective
  • 25
    Adept-Basically... .12h ago. NTA, your husband should respect your boundaries regarding not wanting to be involved with that man. if your husband still want to be friends he can to do that anywhere but at your house. the world is big enough.
    via u/Adept-Basically
  • 26
    Necessary-Lov... 11h ago⚫ My ex-BF had a "friend" like this, like so much that until you said the guy was married I thought it might be him. So everything I say is going to be based on the assumption that your husband's relationship with
    via u/Necessary-Lov
  • 27
    his friend has similar dynamics to what my ex had. with his own friend. I would put money on it that the "sneaking around" and "interfering with his friendship" ideas are being planted by the friend. And that he's manipulative
    via u/Necessary-Lov
  • 28
    enough your husband doesn't even realize that's what's happening. You have to treat it like any other situation where an abuser is trying to separate someone from their family, etc. Keep the lines of communication open. Talk
    via u/Necessary-Lov
  • 29
    about the bulls.... actions that the guy has done/is doing vs his lack of character. And keep your own boundaries rock solid while not trying to tell your husband he can't be friends with the guy, which you're already there.
    via u/Necessary-Lov
  • 30
    The guy is going to try and poison your relationship, just like he did last time. It's up to you how many times you want to point that out to your husband and when it's time to just let him make his stupid mistakes and focus on protecting yourself, your kids, your assets.
    via u/Necessary-Lov
  • 31
    I also think, unfortunately, that if the dynamic is the same as my ex's, your husband will always forgive him, always let him back in. All in all, look out for yourself and your kids above all else.
    via u/Necessary-Lov
  • 32
    Sorry this is happening to you, I really hope it's less like my situation than it sounds. Good luck.
    via u/Necessary-Lov

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friendship family drama marriage drama friends family feud relationships lol love family reddit thread Reddit funny dating
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